


Irreplaceable

by thunderstorm (ConsultingTimelordWizard)



Series: 30 Days of Mass Effect [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Colonist (Mass Effect), F/M, Mass Effect 1, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 09:47:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12724263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsultingTimelordWizard/pseuds/thunderstorm
Summary: "Jane knew she probably looked a little mad as she went tearing through the Normandy, upturning every loose piece of equipment she could find, but she didn’t have to explain herself if she didn’t want to. The crew kept giving her strange looks, and she was pretty sure one or two of them literally jumped out of her way, but Jane was hyperfocused. It was the only way she could avoid going into a full blown panic attack; as it was, her fists were already clenched to keep them from shaking."





	Irreplaceable

Jane knew she probably looked a little mad as she went tearing through the Normandy, upturning every loose piece of equipment she could find, but she didn’t have to explain herself if she didn’t want to. The crew kept giving her strange looks, and she was pretty sure one or two of them literally jumped out of her way, but Jane was hyperfocused. It was the only way she could avoid going into a full blown panic attack; as it was, her fists were already clenched to keep them from shaking.

Joker hadn’t gotten more than five words in before she had cut him off and nearly tore up the cockpit, much to his dismay. Kaidan looked concerned as she stormed past him on the bridge, but he didn’t say anything (good man). Liara had opened her mouth for a second before she held her hand up to stop the asari, shaking her head and heading into the medbay. She left in frustration and went to the lower level, cursing what was probably the slowest elevator she’d ever come across.

Ashley and Garrus looked like they were still recovering from their most recent drive in the Mako with her, and Jane found it in herself to snort at her squadmates as she went toward the engine room, then Wrex’s corner (ignoring that the krogan was eyeing her funnily), and then into the Mako itself, literally dropping onto her stomach and crawling under the seats with a flashlight. 

Garrus poked his head into the Mako right as Jane banged her head against the top of the seat, making out the turian’s sympathetic hiss as she groaned in pain. She maneuvered her way out more carefully the second time around, sitting up without further incident and staying on the ground silently. Gone, it was gone, and she wouldn’t be able to get it back. Christ, John was going to  _ kill _ her when he found out, and the thought made Jane groan again.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but groaning isn’t really a good sign with humans, correct?”

Jane glanced up to see Garrus still at the Mako’s entrance, sighing at the turian’s concerned look. Unlike Kaidan, Garrus was going to make her talk, and she wasn’t sure if she appreciated it or wanted to throw him out of the airlock. 

“Usually not, no.” She looked down at her lap and closed her eyes, frowning as Garrus climbed into the Mako after her and sat a bit awkwardly on the seat above her. The sight of him crossing his legs was amusing to say the least, and Jane snorted quietly as she pushed herself up onto the seat across from him (she pretended not to notice his relieved look as he set his legs down properly). 

“So,” Garrus started after a few dragged out moments. “Want to talk about whatever’s wrong?”

“No. Yes. I don’t…” Jane shook her head and played with a loose thread on her shirt, trying to figure out what she did and did not want to tell him. It had been only a few months since their chase after Saren started, and she found herself growing closer to Garrus faster than the rest of the crew (save maybe Joker). He was quickly becoming one of her best friends, and that both excited and terrified her. People she got close to died, with the exception of her brother. It’s just how Jane Shepard’s life worked.

“You don’t?” Garrus prompted. “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, Shepard. You’ve just been off since we got back from our last mission. I’m worried.”

She smirked and glanced up. “You? Worried?”

“A rare circumstance, I know, but when the entire Normandy crew is concerned for their commander, someone has to step up.” His mandibles flared, and Jane wasn’t sure if that was a smile or some sort of other expression. She could never tell with turians. 

“So you’re here on the behalf of the crew? Is that it?”

“The crew and myself. We’re friends, Shepard. Friends worry about one another when they’re upset.” Garrus caught her eye and fidgeted in her seat. “Right?”

Jane smiled. “Yeah, you’re right.” Her smile quickly dropped, and she closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see his expression. “It’s stupid, I know, but I lost my dog tags.”

“Shepard, they’re around your neck.”

She snorted. “No, I mean--my father was with the Alliance, you know. Fought in the First Contact War. He kept his dog tags with him no matter where he went, that’s how proud he was of his service.” She paused,  Garrus’ quiet prompting her to continue. “Then he and my mother died on Mindoir. I was sixteen you know. Saw them shot down right in front of me, my brother almost following them. It wasn’t until after the Batarians left and the Alliance arrived that I was able to go to them again.” Jane swallowed thickly, tears threatening to fall. 

“Shepard,” Garrus said quietly. “You don’t have to say any more if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do.” Jane looked back up at Garrus, focusing on her breathing and eyes tracing the markings on his face. They reminded her of the blue Mindoir sky. “I’ve never talked about this, and I need to.”

“Alright.”

“Right.” She exhaled slowly and continued. “They almost weren’t able to pull me away from them. It was only them saying that John might live that tore me away from their sides. I grabbed Father’s dog tags before we left, though. Now I’ve gone and lost them.” That time she couldn’t stop the silent tears from trailing down her cheeks, nor could she keep her shoulders from shaking. The Mako was quiet save for her occasional sniffle, and she was sure that Garrus had left to give her some space.

The Mako moved, and she felt Garrus shift so he sat beside her rather than across from her. Jane wiped at her cheeks and gave Garrus a confused look, opening her mouth to ask what he was doing and stopping when he put an arm around her. She was certain he looked  _ embarrassed _ ; surprisingly, it was a sort of adorable look on him. 

“C-Sec told me humans like contact when they’re upset,” he started slowly, his free hand rubbing his neck. “If that’s not the case I’ll just--”

“No. It’s fine.” Jane gave him a watery smile and settled in his hug, taking a few moments to get comfortable around his armor. It wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world, but it was the thought that counted. “Thank you, Garrus.”

“Any time, Shepard. Any time.”


End file.
